If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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