Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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