my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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