No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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