how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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