is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
