I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
