and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
