Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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