I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
