Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
