There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Randomize
