The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
