What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
