I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
