And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
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I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
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Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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