so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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