I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
