ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
did you just send me my own nude
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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