I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Mom said you looked used
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
