i jhust puked up my retainher.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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