are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
