White coat. Heels.
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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