i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
