her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
