physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
