Small penises have feelings too.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Randomize
