you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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