walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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