Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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