I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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