you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
