your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
