There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
