dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize