I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
