im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
