So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
