2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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