absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize