This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
