I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
