well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You need a sexual gate keeper
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Terrible idea I love it
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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