Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Is her dick bigger than yours?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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