So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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