So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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