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my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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