yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
