She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
