4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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