how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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