can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
