She's JV to your varsity
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
