she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
