You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
You work out of a Hotel?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
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