my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
barbara walters just said penis...
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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