you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
