i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
