i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
