I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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