I only kidnapped one of them. chill
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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