I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
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