I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
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