CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
