so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
