i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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