I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
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