Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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